Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Insensitivity

So I had to go to the OB-GYN today... surrounded by pregnant women. But to add insult to injury the tech who brought me back and took vitals was so... insensitive I guess is the best word for it. She asked the "how many pregnancies, how many children" question and when I said none she proceeded to tell me how smart I was not to have kids and no wonder I didn't have any because I was a teacher and had to deal with kids all day, etc. I didn't know what to say, how to interrupt her and tell her it wasn't by choice, that I just wanted her to stop telling me how lucky I was. I know she didn't mean it, but it hurt. Most of the time I can handle my infertility but how can I handle insensitivity?

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Money makes the world go 'round...

I don't get it. Between Ben and I (mostly Ben honestly), we have a decent income. I don't know if it is just because he is an independent contractor so we have to pay all his taxes or what...but it seems like we just can't get ahead. It's looking like we will be owing taxes for 2010, right at the same time as we owe first quarter 2011 estimated taxes. And those are going to be high because of all the travel Ben has done and gotten to bill for recently. We have practically no savings and the only money put away for long term planning is my pension (which the government wants to take away) and inheritance from Ben's grandmother. And it's looking like we may need to tap into that to cover taxes and bills. Our house is worth less than what we owe on it...we have two car payments...student loans...credit card debt...and it is about to hit summer when we have higher utility bills and I don't get paid for two to three months. The bonus we were promised from work is still MIA and I DON'T WANNA PLAY ANYMORE! I've been up since 4 in the morning and was about to go to sleep when I found out from the tax guy that he "doubts we will like the outcome this year." Are you freaking kidding me??? I just really don't get it. When do we catch a break? Maybe our break is not being able to have a baby...after all, how the hell would we afford it???